


Slumber Party

by UnapologeticallyMeatwad



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Awkward Conversations, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sleepovers, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:12:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27590497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnapologeticallyMeatwad/pseuds/UnapologeticallyMeatwad
Summary: Edelgard’s heart thumps harder than it ought to, she thinks.This shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s just a silly slumber party. Edelgard is going to war against the students inviting her in two moons, she shouldn’t even consider going.So why does she feel so warm inside?
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/Bernadetta von Varley
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	Slumber Party

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to write this because I really wanted to read a story where Edelgard is just a normal teenage girl with your average insecurities and low self-esteem. I hope you like it. : )

Edelgard’s heart thumps harder than it ought to, she thinks. 

This shouldn’t be a big deal. It’s just a silly slumber party. Edelgard is going to war against the students inviting her in two moons, she shouldn’t even consider going.

So why does she feel so warm inside? 

Hilda goes on to explain to her and Bernadetta that all the girls want to get together and have a big slumber party since the White Heron Cup was _just soooooo boriiiiiing!!!_ The plan is to take the entire top floor hallway in the dorms and hold it up there. Dorothea has already convinced Shamir and Manuela to make sure Seteth and Gilbert don’t get anywhere near this thing to shut them down.

(Seteth and Gilbert are apparently going to be distracted anyways, because Alois will be testing some material for his one hour stand-up special for the two of them. If this falls through, the boys are hard at work on another scheme to distract the two biggest narcs at Garreg Mach.)

“A-a-are you sure you want to invite _me?_ ” Edelgard presses her lips together. It’s just—she has such a reputation for being a bossy tattletale, why would anyone want to invite her? None of the other girls outside the Black Eagles even _like_ Edelgard. 

“Uh, duh,” Hilda rolls her eyes. “I’m asking you so I am pretty sure, but you gotta bring some booze. I know you’re loaded and can get us the good shit.”

Edelgard’s eyebrows both shoot up. Hubert could probably hook her up with a little something-something…

“I’m joking, Edelgard!” Hilda slaps Edelgard on the arm. “You’re so serious, lighten up.”

“Yay!” Bernadetta suddenly screeches in delight. She leans forward and wraps both of her arms around Edelgard’s arm, clutching it tightly while she thanks Hilda over and over again. 

Bernie has been… very physically affectionate towards Edelgard lately. Not that Edelgard minds persay, but it is bothersome because eventually—

“Oh shoot!” Bernie releases Edelgard so abruptly, winding her hands together behind her back. 

That happens.

“Sorrysorrysorry! Stupid Bernie—”

“It’s _alright_ , Bernadetta,” Edelgard says, perhaps a little too coldly. “You can, um, hug me whenever you’d like. Ok, um… and I’m assuming no boys allowed?”

Hilda smirks. 

Damn.

Edelgard does so poorly in group gatherings without Hubert to gravitate to. If this were earlier in the school year, she could have definitely convinced Hubert to go undercover as a girl for her. They both have opposite sex disguises that they’ve donned for one another from time to time, but unfortunately it would be awkward if Hubert’s character, Felicia, suddenly showed up at the end of the school year as someone who is ‘new to the area.’

Hilda struts away, swaying her hips, and looks back with narrowed eyes. “ _Make sure to wear your cutest ‘jammies._ ”

Wait, she—she has to wear pajamas?! Nooo… she likes her military uniform, it makes her less accessible when she’s brooding. 

Edelgard turns to Bernadetta, looking at her intensely. “Bernadetta, I need a companion.”

“Oh,” Bernadetta squeaks. “Hm, right Hubert can’t play Felicia can he…”

“No,” Edelgard shakes her head. “Um. Would you—that is—if you are—a-acceptable to doing so… um.” She coughs. Why is this so hard? It’s just Bernadetta, it’s not like…

Bernadetta smiles so softly at Edelgard. That’s why it’s hard for Edelgard to do this. She’s just so… nice.

“Would you attend this party as my companion? Like um, a-a-a date?” Edelgard winces, expecting the worst.

“Awwww, yay!” Bernadetta hops up and down and ‘glomps’ Edelgard into a bush. “This is going to be so fun!”

* * *

Edelgard stands besides Bernadetta outside of the second floor dormitory door. It’s dead silent, Edelgard assumes it’s because Marianne is hard at work at Silencing any noise from escaping. In Edelgard’s hand is a very nice bottle of red wine. She hopes the others will like it, she personally doesn’t drink.

Bernadetta is very cute in her gray undershirt, shorts, and slippers. She brought some cookies she cut into the shapes of little bunnies, and seems absolutely calm.

Edelgard on the other hand is _not_ chill whatsoever. She feels very self-conscious in her pajamas. It’s a fleece onesie that covers everything but her hands. Her onesie is a pastel pink with white polka dots on it. It’s soft though. She likes it, it makes her feel safe when she’s sleeping. 

She kind of cheats by covering her hands with gloves, since those aren’t really her pajamas, she just can’t handle anyone seeing any of her skin ever. She hopes no one chastises her for cheating though.

But she does let her hair down for the night, omitting her usual ribbons. She looks almost exactly as she does before going to sleep. At least she’ll fit in with everyone, 

Then the door opens and Edelgard finds herself looking right at Hilda’s cleavage. She’s—what?! Preposterous. Edelgard’s face gets so red as she looks Hilda down from head to toe and back up. 

These are certainly _not_ pajamas!

Hilda. 

Is.

In.

A.

Black.

Dress. 

… 

A little. 

Black. 

Dress. 

That cuts off at the hips. 

That shows off serious cleavage. 

Edelgard has never seen anything like this. It’s very—um—alluring, though. Yes.

“Uh oh,” Hilda yanks the bottle of wine away. “You thought I was being serious about the pajamas, weren’t you? Well, you look cute as a button, Edelgard.”

“Th-th-thank you,” Edelgard whimpers, tilting her head to see everyone else and oh no—Bernie and her are the only ones in pajamas. Everyone else looks fucking perfect, and Edelgard is just a little girl in a onesie. 

“Um, okay, I’ll put this in my room,” Hilda turns away. She looks back and adds on, “My room is the booze room, heh heh heh,” as if Edelgard were too much of a fool to figure this out. 

If Edelgard wanted to, she could dive into her room and change into a dress like everyone else, with her leggings of course. But no, that doesn’t work because people are staring at her right now, they know she’s in a onesie. If she changes now, it’ll be so obvious she’s insecure about wearing one. So she needs to commit to wearing one, so no one suspects anything.

“Um, Edelgard,” Bernie whispers into her ear. “Are you okay? You’re like, standing perfectly still.”

“I’m fine,” Edelgard rasps. “C-c-can I hold your hand, Bernie? For a little while?”

“Oh-okay,” Bernie grips Edelgard’s hand tight, but neither of them really know how to hold someone’s hand so it takes a while to get the positioning right.

“Let’s go find Petra and Dorothea,” Edelgard says slowly.

Bernie giggles, much to Edelgard’s dismay. “C’mon Edelgard, you talk to them every day. Let’s hang out with someone outside of our house.”

“...Lysithea?” she chokes.

“Ha ha, try again, Edelgard,” Bernie nuzzles her nose against Edelgard’s cheek, which is really, really cute. Steam actually might start shooting out of Edelgard’s ears any second now. “I know you and her are tight. Hey look! It’s Mercedes and Annette, let’s hang out with them. Trust me.”

Edelgard knows literally one thing each about Mercedes and Annette. One has an evil brother that works for Edelgard, and the other has a shitty father who really needs to go. Edelgard dimly recalls fighting Mercedes at the first mock battle but that’s about it. 

Bernie hits it off with the two girls right away. They get into this really deep discussion about painting. Edelgard has literally nothing to contribute, she paints but like—it’s embarrassing, she’s probably not as good as either of these three girls… and she doesn’t really understand the technical aspects of it or anything, she just finds it therapeutic. 

She’s sure if she says that out loud though, they’ll think less of her. So Edelgard just focuses on Bernadetta.

Bernadetta has grown up so much this year. She’s far more outgoing, and she gets so animated when talking about things she cares about. Her eyes light up and her mouth makes these irresistible smiles. Her messy hair waves about and goodness, Bernie is such a _gift_. She really should think more highly of herself.

“Um, Edelgard?” Bernie asks with a confused expression. 

“Huh?” Edelgard jumps. “Wh-what’s that? S-sorry, I spaced out.”

“I was just asking what you thought of about painting people instead of environments, the three of us all paint inanimate stuff,” Bernie grins.

“Oh,” Edelgard frowns. Why is she so jittery? Her cheeks feel so hot, she might be sweating. She knows her heart is pounding. Now she looks oblivious. Stupid, childish, and oblivious. That’s who Edelgard really is. “Um… I—I don’t know… s-sorry.”

Bernie recovers for Edelgard fast, “Hey, I’m going to grab some punch, you girls want anything?”

Annette and Mercedes both ask Bernadetta for the ‘jungle juice.’ Edelgard doesn’t need to tell Bernadetta what she wants, she’ll figure it out. But now Edelgard is alone with two strangers. 

“Um,” Edelgard says when she notices it’s on her to start the conversation. “A-Annette, how are you and your father doing?”

Annette cringes. Mercedes pats Annette on the shoulder, her face very soft and light-hearted. “How about we don’t talk about that?” Then she leans forward so Annette can’t see and mouths, _What the fuck?_

Oof. Edelgard winces. She sucks at small talk. “Sorry, I’m not good… in crowds, I just get a little anxious.”

Mercedes giggles. “Are you _sure_ that’s what’s going on right now?”

Edelgard blinks. “Yes, I—”

Mercedes wiggles her thin eyebrows and it’s very seductive. “I saw the way you were looking at Bernadetta…”

Ope, here comes the steam shooting out of Edelgard’s ears.

“You guys are really cute together,” Annette smiles. 

“Really?” Edelgard blurts out and then promptly goes completely red in the face. She can’t believe she just said that! Out loud! In front of strangers! “Ahaha, please don’t tell Bernie I said that…”

“Don’t tell Bernie, what?” Bernie pats Edelgard on the shoulder and reaches over, handing some drinks to the two Blue Lions, and some iced tea thing for Edelgard. Edelgard is sure she’ll adore it.

“I was just complimenting you,” Edelgard feigns a smile. “I know you get all worked up when I do that… so… you…” Edelgard actually has no compliment in mind other than _I love you_ which she’s pretty sure is _not_ smooth. “...look really beautiful tonight.”

Bernie’s face goes red. “You too, Edelgard, I think you look amazinger than usual.”

...is it possible Bernadetta likes Edelgard back?

No. Impossible. Ridiculous! Unheard of. 

Bernadetta is just like this with everyone, surely. Edelgard is not special to her, she’s sure of it. 

The small talk lasts a few subjects longer. Edelgard hardly participates, she just stares at Mercedes and Annette. They are both very beautiful. Mercedes’ posture is just stunning, she’s so confident yet her voice is so meek. She would never guess that she’d be so strong… and Annette is so bubbly. Her father is reprehensible and avoiding her in front of everyone who’s looking, and she is bubbly.

She feels stupid next to them, like she shouldn’t be here. Like it was a mistake to let her come, or maybe Hilda wanted to humiliate her. She feels like an eight year old girl, so sensitive and shy and scared. She wants to clutch Bernadetta’s arm for support but she looks childish enough. She needs to get it together.

Eventually Mercedes and Annette move on to talk to some other folks they usually don’t speak to. Apparently, that’s what you do at parties, it’s called _floating_ according to Mercedes who is much older and wiser than any of the other students.

“Bernadetta,” Edelgard looks at Bernie with some urgency. “How do you do that? How do you talk to people so well?”

“Oh,” Bernie laughs awkwardly and scratches the back of her neck. “Well, when it’s people I know, or like, people I’m gonna see again—”

Edelgard feels her heart racing again. She stills it so she can actually listen to Bernie. Precious Bernie.

“—I get really anxious because I don’t want to mess up, but when it’s people I don’t know very well, and I know I won’t see them again anytime soon, it’s a lot easier for me to open up.”

“Oh,” Edelgard says softly. Why is it that Bernadetta of all people grew out of some of her social anxiety when Edelgard is still stuck? She’s the Imperial Princess, she has a heart of ice, she’s killed people, and this is what’s bothering her? They float around for some time, and it’s more of the same. Lots of anxiety and pressure, Edelgard tries to find Dorothea and Petra but they are nowhere to be seen. 

Bernadetta should be enough of a support but… well, several people point out Edelgard’s clear affection for Bernadetta and it’s so embarrassing. Because she knows Bernadetta would never love someone like her, and it doesn’t make sense to spend time with her when their friendship is so doomed.

Edelgard snaps suddenly, mid-conversation with Ingrid. “Bernie, I’m going to my room for a moment to catch my breath. I’ll be back.”

Bernadetta looks sort of concerned, because she knows what that’s code for, at least in Bernieworld. But Edelgard stomps away, marches into her room, and thankfully no one is in there. She had it locked just in case something like this happened. She opens the door, slams it, locks it, and sits on her bed. Her fingers dive into the bedsheets, squeezing them. 

Her knee thumps up and down. Up and down. Her mind is in twenty different places at once and it’s all swirling. She hates parties, she usually grows so tired of the small talk and the need to keep up appearances. But tonight is a completely different beast, and it all started with this stupid onesie.

Like it or not, she has to wear it. Or rather, things like this. She can’t show skin to anyone because of her mass network of scars. Granted, she saw a lot of scars tonight. In fact, Ingrid lifted her shirt up to her chest to show off a few scars she got while fighting an ex-lover in Ailell. Ingrid can show her scars, because she’s brave. Edelgard’s not brave, she’s a coward. 

She’s not even sad because of all the horrible things she’s done, she’s sad because she looks stupid in her onesie and she knows everybody hates her even more than they already did and—

_Knock. Knock._

Edelgard bites her quivering lip. She feels the tears streaming down her cheeks. Stupid stupid. _You idiot, why are you crying? You promised Bernadetta you’d be back in a minute and you choose now to blubber like a baby?_

“One second,” she calls out, trying so hard to sound normal. She wipes the tears away on her sleeves and blows her nose so she doesn’t drip and goes to the door, opening it wide for Bernadetta with the full intention of leaving her room and continuing to float and—

—she can’t, the second she meets Bernadetta’s eyes, and sees how they glow, how they understand Edelgard so much, the tears come back in and she starts breaking down again. Her spine crumples and she bows her head into Bernie’s chest, fingers just a hair above hugging the girl.

“Oh no, Edelgard,” Bernadetta rushes in and shuts the door behind them, locking it, and guiding Edelgard back to her bed. “What’s wrong? Uh is it something I said? Stupid Bernie, I’m sorry—”

“No,” Edelgard sobs, letting herself get small in Bernadetta’s grip. Bernadetta is warm. Usually hugs scare Edelgard because she gets surrounded and—it’s okay with Bernie. She trusts her. “It’s my fault.”

None of her classmates, including Hubert, have ever seen Edelgard cry. She can’t remember when she’s cried last, but she can’t stop it. It’s all just coming out and Bernadetta is holding her so tightly. She thinks she hears Bernadetta crying too, even more proof at how awful she is, she upsets everyone around her…

Bernadetta really carefully and gently strokes Edelgard’s scalp, her fingers shaking. “I didn’t know you could cry, Edelgard.”

Bernadetta respects Edelgard too much, she wishes Bernie wouldn’t. It will only hurt her in two moons. “I do,” she sobs weakly. “I wish it was easier for me—to cry more often… I hold so much in.”

Bernie nods and continues to be so gentle with Edelgard. No one has ever held her like this before. “Thank you, Bernie.”

Bernie flashes a hint of a smile. “It’s okay, Edelgard… um, do—do you want to talk about it?”

Edelgard shakes her head, trying to clamp her jaw tight; she really doesn’t.

But.

Y’know.

“Everybody hates me, I know they do,” Edelgard shouts, closing her eyes. “They all think I’m stuck up, a-and—I can’t even hold conversation tonight! What’s wrong with me, Bernie? I didn’t even wear the right thing, I look so stupid, and now I’m crying, and I’m pathetic and—Goddess, I fucking hate parties so much, I really do. This always happens, I’m no good in crowds, I get so anxious, and I can’t fucking handle it.”

“Shhhh,” Bernadetta coos, leaning against the headboard, laying Edelgard down with her. “It’s okay, Edelgard. I’m sorry I didn’t notice earlier, I thought you were nervous about me, um, nuzzling you an’ stuff on our date.”

Oh, Bernie does realize it is actually kind of sort of a date. 

“People like you, Edelgard. Um, and I’m kinda happy you wore pajamas too because I thought that’s what was happening too… so at least we can be together in cozy stuff.”

Edelgard nods and gasps, “Why are you so nice to me, Bernie?! I don’t understand.”

“Um, well… you’re—you’re really nice to me, Edelgard,” Bernie’s chin touches Edelgard’s head. “I don’t really know why you’re nice to me, either, I mean… I’m a big loser. I don’t really belong here…”

“Yes you do,” Edelgard blindly throws her hand out to find Bernie’s and catches it, squeezing it tight. “You deserve everything, you’re wonderful.”

Bernadetta stays quiet and strokes Edelgard’s hair again, and just waits until Edelgard lets it out. It feels… kinda nice actually, to cry with someone. Even though she knows it makes her pathetic, it’s so cathartic to just cry and be held. But that makes her weak, right? 

“Bernie, I’m sorry to hurt you so much,” Edelgard says, her voice shot now. It hurts to talk.

“Huh?” Bernie says. “You didn’t hurt me at all, what are you talking about?”

“Well, you, you started crying, and—I know that—I don’t know, I’m not making sense…”

Bernie leans forward and wraps her arms around Edelgard even tighter. “I was crying because I was scared I said something to upset you, a-and, now I’m crying because I’m really happy th-that you… um… talk to me, like this.”

Edelgard feels the dry tears on her cheek, and turns around to look at Bernadetta, staring into her eyes. “Did you lock the door?”

Bernie hesitates and nods.

“Okay,” Edelgard pulls her feet up, cheek resting against her knee. “W-would it be weird if I showed you something right now?”

Bernie blinks. “What is it?”

Edelgard bites her lip again, this is so impulsive. She shouldn’t do this. She’s leaving the school soon to wage war and… Goddess, if she could only pick one to walk with her it’d be Bernie. Beautiful precious Bernie. Bernie who has probably spent so much of her life crying that she knows how to take care of other broken people.

Edelgard raises her arm towards Bernie and gently rolls the sleeve back, revealing a matrix of ugly, deep scars running down her entire arm. It’s as complex as a jigsaw puzzle. Bernadetta gasps at the sight of it, she’s sure it’s surreal for her to see something so damaged. It still is for Edelgard, since she hides her skin even from herself.

“My whole body is like this,” Edelgard winces, hot tears coming back in. “I’m… I’m really not very pretty. Wh-when I was very young, my uncle would hurt me a lot,” Bernie’s eyes get all wide and stare right into Edelgard’s eyes. There’s a dark glimmer, like Bernie knows it’s way more complicated than what Edelgard said. 

But in due time, she can share that. But for now, this must do. “Even if I wanted to dress up like everyone else, I couldn’t—”

As Edelgard makes to roll up her sleeve, Bernie lunges forward and grabs Edelgard’s arm like an ear of corn and brings her lips to it, kissing the scars. It both tickles and shocks.

“What…” Edelgard says. “...what are you doing?”

“Oh, am I being weird?” Bernie frowns. “I thought it was cute…”

Edelgard feels herself smiling. “I liked it.” Did she like it? It takes a second. She definitely did, it just caught her by surprise.

“Oh, good,” Bernie rubs her cheek. “Can I ask you something? I’ve been kinda confused tonight…”

“Yes?” Edelgard leans in, climbing close to her friend.

“When you said this was a date for us tonight, did you mean, like…”

Edelgard opens her mouth to answer, but of course Bernie keeps talking. “...because y’know, um, I dunno why’d you like me, I’m a big loser, so like—but if you were serious, I would, um… I would, why are you looking at me like that?”

Edelgard focuses in; apparently she was making a face. “I was thinking… if—if instead of kissing my scars, would you kiss me here?” She points at her lips.

“Ooh,” Bernie giggles, probably not intending to make that noise with her mouth. She leans in, pressing her hand flat onto Edelgard’s chest, and kisses her. Bernie’s lips are very dry and chapped. 

It’s still heaven though. Edelgard doesn’t know what to do with her hands though, she’s never really kissed anyone before. Eventually, she decides to curve her finger around Bernie’s jaw, that feels nice. 

Part of Edelgard longs to open the drawer besides her and show Bernie the Flame Emperor mask, but that should wait. Instead, after they kiss, they lean into Edelgard’s bed together and just hold each other for a while, cuddling. 

“Ee-hee,” Bernie giggles. “I’m Edelgard’s Bernie Bear.”

“What do you—ah, like a stuffed animal.”

“Yeeeeah.” Bernie nuzzles Edelgard like an excited cat, it’s very nice to feel loved like this. Edelgard wants this to last forever, but… outside in the hall things are definitely kicking up a notch. It’s absolutely because Hapi finally showed up.

“Hey,” Edelgard whispers. “If it’s not asking too much of you Bernie, I’d like to stay with you tonight. But it’s really loud here.”

Bernie looks at her and reaches out to stroke Edelgard’s cheek, then withdraws, getting all nervous again. “Do you wanna party a bit or do you want to go?”

“I just want to go,” Edelgard says softly. “If that’s alright.”

Bernie grins. “Yeah! Let’s go to my room.”

* * *

The moment Edelgard and Bernadetta walk out of Edelgard’s dorm, arms linked, and Bernie’s hair in even more disarray there’s a whole round of _oooooooooooohs_ and possibly a slow clap. It makes both of the girls’ faces go really red.

Hilda approaches them pretty quickly, giving the two of them a tight hug. She is almost certainly wasted out of her gourd, but she’s also tossed the black dress and replaced it with pajamas herself. “Sorry I told you the wrong shit, Edelgard,” Hilda slurs, arms draped on Edelgard’s shoulders. 

“It’s fine,” Edelgard keeps her teeth pressed together. “Don’t worry about it, Hilda. I had fun nevertheless.”

Hilda throws her arms in the air and screams, “WOO! Well, we’re pajama friends now. Not as cute as yours though, Edelgard. For once, you have better fashion sense than me.” And suddenly she starts cackling, which quickly turns into weeping. “How does Edelgard have better fashion sense than me—AGH!”

They continue on, almost at the exit when Edelgard notices Mercedes and Annette again, leaning up against the wall besides the door, nursing some juices. They could just leave but… something is nagging on Edelgard’s mind. She breaks from Bernie for a moment and looks straight to Annette.

“Hi, um, I’m sorry I brought up you-know-who earlier,” Edelgard frowns. “I know it is to have bad memories hoisted on you without consent and um, I’m sincerely sorry for—”

Annette holds up a hand, face bright. “It’s not a big deal, Edelgard. You were being just kinda awkward, it’s cool.”

Edelgard closes her mouth, shocked. It wasn’t a big deal? But—like—ten minutes ago or whatever it felt like the universe was collapsing and now everything’s fine. No one hates Edelgard, they—actually seem to kinda understand her.

Edelgard looks over to Bernie. “Do you want to stay a while longer, actually?”

“Hee,” Bernie giggles and smooches Edelgard right on the cheek. “More awake time with my _girlfriend_ sounds good!”

Edelgard knows for certain that if something like that were said an hour ago, she’d be humiliated but now that she’s had some distance she feels really good about it. In fact, fuck it. She twirls Bernadetta around and kisses her on the lips in front of everyone, because she could tell Bernie wanted to kiss some more. 


End file.
